Falling in love takes guts, and sweeps your heart off its feet. But does it also pull your brain in? Sure, falling in love feels like butterflies, like a beautiful fantasy land, your own fairy tale. But have you ever wondered what goes in your body when you fall head over heels with someone? Beneath the poetic profoundness and depth of falling in love lies a complex interplay of biological, psychological, and neurochemical processes keeping you on your feet. Let us dive into understanding these processes and the actual science of falling in love.
The biological basis of love
If Darwin had to quote, he would declare the understanding of love as an instinct towards survival and procreation. From evolutionary perspective for continuation of species, to actual biological processes that govern human needs and form the basis of attraction, attachment, and bonding, this interaction of philosophical science is an interesting tangent to explore.
The process of attraction
Physical attraction plays a significant role in laying the foundation of a partnership. The primary step towards feeling drawn towards someone, most often, is feeling physically attracted to another individual. Many evolutionary psychologists state that attractive physical traits, from a healthy skin, facial symmetry, or bodily proportions indicate genetic fitness.
Choosing your partner
Scientifically known as mate selection, it also involves physiological and biological processes that influence your choice. Pheromones are chemical substances that are odorless and are released and perceived by all humans, literally like an unsaid form of communication. These chemicals subconsciously influence and detect genetic as well as physical compatibility.
Attachment and bonding
Attachment and bonding through physiological and biological processes can be in many ways. Pheromones indicate physical comfort and sexual arousal. Holding hands, hugging, cuddling, and kissing, all forms of sexual and physical intimacy, growing attachment and bonding between your partner is heavily influenced by biological mechanisms.
Neurochemical activities and brain chemistry
We don’t exaggerate when we say that love alters our entire brain chemistry. The feeling of being in love has many neurochemical activities attached to it that directly influence our behaviour, our emotions, and feelings. Here are some of those neurochemical changes:
The role of dopamine
Dopamine is the reward system that controls our entire functioning. Also known as the happiness hormone, the initial stages of love or the beginning phase witnesses a rise in dopamine levels. This leads to the feeling of excitement and intensity, activating the brain’s reward system. This dopamine rush also explains the obsessive thinking and elevated mood often associated with new love.
Oxytocin, vasopressin, and serotonin
Oxytocin is also known as the love hormone, which is released especially when partners bond physically through hugs, kissing, cuddling, or sexual intimacy. On the other hand, vasopressin is another hormone that is released by the pituitary gland enhancing feelings of attachment, bonding, and trust, especially when it comes to long term and monogamous relationships. Serotonin, yet another hormone, reduces in the initial phases, leading to obsessive thinking and intense, heightened emotions.
Cortisol and stress
When you get those butterflies in your stomach, it actually is cortisol. Falling in love initially raises cortisol levels, creating a heightened sensation of affection and a rise in intensity of emotions. Over time, as a relationship stabilizes, cortisol levels decrease, reducing stress and allowing the attachment phase to deepen with intellect, consciousness, and mindful presence.
Psychological changes and influence
When you are in love, things in and around you change in a drastic manner, so much so that you often feel like a new person. Falling in love triggers a lot of changes, surfaces emotions that were perhaps suppressed for a long time, and leads to a complete shift of perception. Here are some psychological changes that occur when you are in love:
Shift in self-perception
Love often enhances self-esteem and increases personal growth. Being valued by a partner can make individuals feel more confident and motivated. Romantic relationships also encourage self-expansion, as partners learn from each other and adopt new interests and perspectives.
Selective attention
When you are in love, the lines blur. You can understand this with the concept of selective attention. People in love have their focus on their loved one, often overlooking flaws and emphasizing positive traits. This also aligns their complete attention onto their partner and away from other things or people at the same time.
Empathy and selflessness
Love fosters a much higher capacity for empathy and selflessness. Partners prioritize the needs and well-being of their partner, which further increases their giving nature and innate selflessness. This psychological shift enhances the connection and strengthens the bond over time.
What is the science of staying in love?
When it comes to falling in love, our minds jump to excitement and intensity and instant connection. But what about staying in love? After a certain point of time, relationships can go through many ups and downs, and time and space in the most generic sense. This obviously has a positive effect on the stability and comfort you may feel with your partner, but more often than not, it also gives rise to many conflicting thoughts, patterns, and a common loss in intensity, or what people usually refer to as ‘losing the spark’
Scientific researches to common understanding of a relationship point on how staying in love takes effort as well and needs consistency, reciprocation, and commitment from partners. There are many things you can do to keep the spark alive in your relationship and continue being in love completely.
Communication
Open and honest communication is extremely necessary to maintain a relationship. Intense arguments and misunderstandings create emotional distance and can lead to grudges and feelings of dissatisfaction. To prevent this from happening, work on communicating in a kind, honest, and understanding manner. Listen to your partner to understand their perspective and respond in a kind manner, while also prioritizing your perspective. Active listening and expressing appreciation are key components of healthy communication.
Shared goals and values
Aligning on core values and life goals strengthens the foundation of a relationship. When you seek a relationship with someone, you also imagine a future with them. Growing together comes with changing personalities, goals, and values. Seeking out a future where you share your lives should be in alignment with both of your goals and values. From personal, spiritual, professional, to financial, all goals are equally important and must be prioritized by both the partners. Joint activities, such as traveling or pursuing hobbies, enhance connection and maintain the knowledge and communication in such things.
Practicing gratitude
Practicing gratitude within a relationship deepens your bond significantly. It enhances trust, reassurance, compatibility, and comfort. When you acknowledge the amount of love you feel for your partner and from them, along with how much they matter to you or how much space they hold in your life, it becomes easier to maintain that connection and feel grateful to have them. Small acts of kindness and acknowledgment have a significant impact on relationship quality.
Summing it up
Love can be really simple and really complicated at the same time. It has multiple facets that affect it or have an influence on it. While the process begins with evolutionary instincts and neurochemical changes, it evolves into a complex interplay of emotions, behaviors, and societal as well as cultural influences.
By understanding the science behind love, we can get an insight into what we feel and how exactly our mind and body play a role in making us feel that way. From physiological and evolutionary reasons, to the role of all kinds of hormones, love is made up of every fragment. Whether you’re experiencing the thrill of new love or nurturing a long-term relationship, the scientific insights into love provide you knowledge and predicament of what you may experience or already have in this beautiful journey.